a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
