i was born a porn star she said
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
