Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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