i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
