But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
