A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
