D3 body, D1 cock
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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