You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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