This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
