thus making me awesome and them whores
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
