Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
