She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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