girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just googled if crying burns calories
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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