right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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