on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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