oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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