it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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