She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
