Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
