just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
