Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
