Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
