How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
