I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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