Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
