good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
