Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize