my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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