Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
