Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
