Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I need to stop coming to work sober
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
