why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
