I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
