I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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