You made me cry and you don't even care
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
