walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
