there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
