Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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