I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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