You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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