Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
