you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
