So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
