Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
