When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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