sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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