we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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