how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
