I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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