You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
