i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
