Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize