Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
