Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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