Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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