So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
