Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
