I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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