It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
