Pappa wants mamma naked
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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