The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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