I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Randomize
