Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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