I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
